Uneasy Lies The Crown
Riders are the sometimes ridiculous lists of things celebrities request for their appearances. Things like (the following are actual examples):
“She requires all furniture be removed from the rooms and replaced with her own pieces that she has shipped in.”
“20 international phone lines in the room as well as special white and pink roses that must have the stems cut to six inches.”
“a personal chef, acupuncturist and an on-site dry-cleaner.”
“You know what would be really nice? If you could make this room look less like a typical rock & roll dressing room and more sort of… Interesting? Are you with me? Just let someone loose with a little bit of flair…”
“One monitor man who speaks English and is not afraid of death.”
“Seven dwarves, dressed up as those dwarves out of that marvelous Walt Disney film…”
Apparently, when you become a celebrity it goes to your head a tiny bit. Do not worry, Little People! I shall not let my celebrity go to my head!
It’s fun to think about, however. What would YOU ask for if you could be a poop and demand anything you wanted?
Huh. It occurs to me that all my requests are food related. Allrighty, then! I would like an aerobics instructor to take me for walks around the English moors – OR the cornfields of Iowa, I’m not picky. His first name must be Colin and his last name must be Firth and he must dress like this:
See? Completely down to earth! And you?