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Scarlet O’Hara Gone With the Wind

Perhaps it’s the medication, but there are strange hallucinations afoot. For example, all through my stay at the hospital, and even here at home, I’ve been wearing what I think of as The Corset.

Rose from Titanic

Because of my dainty state, ‘tis not one of those lace up ones where you have to hold onto a handy tall bed bannister whilst your lady’s maid or mother or mammy ties you in, (“Eighteen inches! It’s just got to be eighteen inches!), instead it’s a modern contraption that uses velcro and fuzz.

Mary Crawley, Downton Abbey

In the hospital it would take two nurses at first, one on either side two hold and fasten the two halves together, and later I would helpfully hold one side. I was pretty out of it, I confess, so when I actually SAW the thing unfurled, scrolling to the ground, I had a moment like this:

What the – ?!

Hal from Shallow Hal

I’ve often related to this somewhat inappropriate yet wildly appropriate scene from “Shallow Hal.”

“This shirt!” I will say to myself, “It’s HUGE. How could it possibly fit me?!” only to have said shirt fit quite nicely.

Or when it comes to my lovely visage: “Wrinkles? What wrinkles?! I haven’t changed a bit!”

In the movie, Hal has had a spell cast on himself, where he only sees the true beauty of things. This explains his surprise at his gorgeous slender girlfriend’s humongous undies.

Aren’t I lucky that I seem to have had a similar spell cast on myself?

Shouldn’t we all, especially when it comes to ourselves? Life is hard enough as it is! Therefore, I shall continue.

*She walks in beauty,

like the night

Of cloudless climes and starry skies

And all that ‘s best of dark and bright

Meet in her aspect and her eyes

In my mind, at least. Which in some ways is all that matters.

*Poem by Lord Byron

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