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Lesson Learned!

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Robin Williams in 1989’s “Dead Poet’s Society.” Good flick!

I’m sure you know how it is. You have an encounter of some kind, you think it went well, and then…you start second guessing. “ACK! Why did I say that?!” you ask yourself. And you beat yourself up a tiny bit.

Well, don’t! All we can do is our best at the time, right? For example, I’m a pretty healthy person – or have been my entire life, until that wee little major surgery from the burst appendix. And to be fair, this is my FIRST time getting older, so…I figured I had the operation, I would heal, and that would be that.

As you may already know, that was NOT that. Turns out there’s more to healing then not lifting heavy things for the prescribed time. Turns out using centrifugal force to throw a red rubber chicken for your dog to play fetch is not an ideal thing to do, even if the chicken isn’t that heavy! It’s the twisting that’s the thing. So now I have this hernia that feels a lot like an alien is invading my stomach. And therefore I’m going back for more.




That has been my cry ever since I saw the movie “Dead Poet’s Society.” I will seize the day – if there’s a good chance I’ll never see a person again so as to save myself some awkwardness.

Therefore, in my “Thank You” note to the doctor who saved my life, I wrote a “thank you” (that’s a given), I mentioned that I’d written a book (I usually don’t self promote. For example, whenever I did plays in the past I never, ever told anybody, but with Hazel Twigg, something is different. I 100% believe), gave the HT website address (SO unusual for me before now!), and added the following words (or something to this affect): “Ah, if only you were single!”

He probably didn’t remember, right? I mean, I’d even forgotten that I’d written anything of that nature! But now, thinking back to that meeting to schedule my follow up surgery – I mean, our date, I recall that he asked me how my book was going. With a smile on his face.

Gulp. Oh. That’s right.

Yessirree, lesson learned. I’ll still “seize the day” every now and then. But only when I’m really, REALLY sure.

Tomorrow, before I face the dragon (and thankfully I’ll be out most the time)! Chapter 22 Remembrances & Regrets is based on a true story. See you then!

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Teeth For Tat

It wasn’t so long ago that I was innocently minding my business, filling out paperwork in the lobby of a bank in Humboldt, when I was politely informed that my driver’s license was expired – and had been for quite some time.


This is EXACTLY what Bank Fairies look like.

Apparently, there’s no “official” notice of this fact, the driver’s license fairies just expect you to somehow know! They expect you to look at this dreaded photo of DOOM, this unpleasant reminder in the least flattering light, that you are getting older. No way am I voluntarily looking at THAT.

Thank goodness for bank fairies!

There was a time when I didn’t mind looking at that tiny photo. The time way back when you could actually SMILE. With your TEETH.

I fondly recall the last time I went to the DMV, to get my last name changed from “Broccoli” back to my original name that I’d always been proud of. Back then my driver’s license photos had always been amongst my best.


This is the cop from Terminator 2. Not exactly a Cyborg, but he wasn’t human, just scary good.

I confidently stood in front of that blue screen and smiled my widest smile, determined to make this the best photo yet.

“We’re sorry, ma’am. You can’t show your teeth.”

First of all, “Ma’am”?! I’m a “Ma’am” now? I knew this day would come! Second of all, I couldn’t have heard correctly.

“Why?” I asked, dumbfounded.

Apparently, it’s for some sort of facial recognition thing. Now, unless all the local, friendly police officers have been secretly exchanged for Cyborgs, I have no idea why this should be necessary.

I was dismayed with no time to recover, and my picture that day surely reflected that. But now! Now! The time had finally come to rectify the situation.

I’ll show YOU a smile with no teeth!


Yep! I’m 29!
…And Look at my birth date: 1984. Coincidence? I THINK NOT.


Lastly, heaven help me if I ever get captured by Aliens that act like humans and parade me about in public and don’t let me speak.

“Finally! I’ve been saved!” I would cry upon my rescue, “WHAT TOOK YOU SO LONG?!!”

“I’m sorry, Ma’am.” (GAH!) “We were looking for a much smaller woman…”


“Do you weigh about the same as last time?” the pleasant clerk asked.

“Sure,” I replied.

Well, they won’t let me smile with my teeth, after all. I think we’re even now.