Et tu, Hospitale?

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Bedbat

Unfortunately, there are no pictures (ahem!), but I’m pretty sure I looked just like this. Only, blonde.

Naturally, as I regained consciousness more and more and a hint of coral appeared once again on my ivory lips, I was a popular patient with the nurses.

Oh, sure, they pretended they couldn’t find my dainty veins, requiring all sorts of thumpings and tappings as they basked in the glow of my somehow still visible glamour. Or that they need to do all this temperature taking or the python-like squeezing of my arm for blood pressure tests for health reasons, but I know.

They liked me. They really liked me, and they wanted to hang out.

BedbatnurseASo imagine my surprise, having at least ONE less worry as I slept at night in this tidy, modern hospital when I casually asked during one of these hanging out extravaganzas as two of them pretended I needed help to walk the halls, “Have you ever had bats here?”

“Yes,” one of the nurses replied.

“WHAT?!”  I said.

“On this very floor! Several times…I don’t know how they get in.”

“Well,” the other hanger on chimed in, “bats can fit in holes the size of – ”

Cicada right“A pencil eraser! I know,” I cried out in panic.

“I was going to say a matchbook, but yeah, that too,” she finished.

Later that night I saw one of those nurse culprits peek into my room. “Oh. You’re awake.”

Usually this fact would cause my nurses great pleasure. In fact several times in the middle of the night they would turn on the lights without warning, like a police raid, just to get me up – whilst “pretending” to need to take vitals, but I could see right through them. I know they just needed a dose of Ruth and could not wait ‘til morning!

“What do you need?” I patiently (a pun!) asked.

“Nothing,” the nurse responded. “I was going to get a fake bat and dangle it from the ceiling.”

“What?!”

“At the very least, I was going to come in here and make squeaking noises.”

So. It has come to this. I survive a near death appendix rupture only to die by heart attack.

At least I shall live to see the Greater Rolfe Days Sesquicentennial, which begins tomorrow. Surely you’ve heard of it! Our delightful town of 600 give or take will have Water fights and Scavenger Hunts and Art Shows and a Cemetery Walk and a Tour of Homes and a Bacon Fest, fer’ crying out loud! And the library’s having a Book Sale and there will be dances…it just doesn’t get any better than small town America and for me, it doesn’t get better than Rolfe. I love this place. Bats and all.

bedbatparade

Of COURSE there will be parades too! This is from Rolfe’s Centennial – or 100th Anniversary. And now it’s the 150th. Fifty years can fly by like THAT. Or so I’m told.

 

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10 Commentsto Et tu, Hospitale?

  1. Sarah Munson says:

    My VERY DEAR neighbor girl YOU make me smile…..and maybe even giggle a bit! 🙂

  2. carmell says:

    I had something to say but now I want to know why I had to tell what 9-five= when I signed in to leave a reply. I don’t think that actually proves I’m human! Anyway … I hope you aren’t tired of me replying to almost EVERY post but I am so glad to have this to read in the morning with my coffee while I am procrastinating real work. Don’t dance. Just watch.

    • Ruth says:

      First off, I LOVE COMMENTS ON MY POSTS, let me say THAT right away!

      And I too get cranky (not that you are) when I have to translate wavy, illegible words, etc., to prove I’m human on blogs when I want to comment. “Please,” I say to myself, “Is this all so necessary?”

      Now that I too am a blogger, I see that it is. In the eight days I was gone, there were 300+ spams. What a pain! What if I accidentally delete a friendly comment? When I let my excellent brother Dennis know, he tweaked things and this was one of the tweaks.

      So comment away, please! I love hearing from you! Even I have to do the math! Thank goodness they aren’t story math problems, that’s all I can say…

      *Dancing*

  3. Michele Hernansen says:

    I understand the need for math problems, but I hope your dear brother realizes not all of us took Calculus in college for fun (my sister Emily did).

    Can’t believe a hospital had bats! That can hardly be sanitary. Obviously they have not properly sealed all orifices. Their electric bills must be atrocious! So glad you weren’t attacked en suite. We’ve never had a vampire in the family. Let’s not start. It did not bode well for the Collins family if Collinsport, Maine. They ended up in a cult classic on the TV called, “Dark Shadows.”

    Hope your town realizes the parade needs to go by your house so you don’t have to go out amongst the little people.

    Great pics as usual. Getting that bat pic must have been really scary.

    Ta ta!

    • Ruth says:

      Well, it’s not like bats are a common occurrence there. There was one 20 or 30 years ago, and a few since – mostly when construction was being done nearby.

      Vampires? I LOVE Vampires! Of course, in my mind they’re always handsome…

  4. Dennis Agle says:

    Darn clever and witty as usual,
    Love always

  5. Barbara Rummler says:

    Ruth, so glad your ordeal has had a happy ending! I love reading your blog each day, or at least every day I’m at home as I’m not allowed to use hubby’s I Pad. Your writing is delightful, insightful and downright entertaining.