Confessions of a Princess
“You snore!” a nurse exclaimed one morning. “You and the guy in the room next to you. Sheesh!”
I’d forgotten. After all, I’ve been alone for awhile. It’s not like my dog Teddy would ever say anything.
With the nurse’s declaration, for a split second I was transported back to Girl Scout Camp when I was 11 or 12, the very first time I’d learned that tidbit of information about myself. My family had recently moved to this small town in Southern Utah from Hawaii and I was desperately trying to fit in. It was a tricky transition.
“It was RUTH!” several scouts answered in unison.
I was mortified. I said the first thing that came to mind: “Nuh-uh!”
Surely snoring is one of the worst traits for a girl to have, especially at that age when you’re trying to blossom into a young and attractive lady.
For the next two nights at camp I tried very hard not to fall asleep, doing my best to contort myself in a way that there would be no snoring. I lay on my stomach and tried to tuck my formidable chin onto my shoulder as firmly as I could, keeping my teeth clamped together and wrapping my opposite arm around my head to hold it into position. All to no avail.
“Ruth was snoring again! Ruth snores! Ruth snores!”
When it comes to snoring, I have never met my feminine equal. Throughout my life, all the commercials for snoring solving are geared towards men! Men snore, not women! Even going to Google Images this morning. I typed in “Snoring” and 99% of the images are of course men!
It’s only been the past few years that I’ve not only accepted this fact of my femininity, I’ve embraced it.
So, “You snore!” one of the nurses at the hospital exclaimed.
“Why, yes. Yes I do,” I proudly replied. “I am my father’s daughter.”
PROOF. Because, my DAD! He is the King of Snorers! And I am his heir apparent(ly)! The Princess of Snorers, one might say.
I know with every fibre of my being that my father is one of the best men to walk this earth and I am so very lucky that he is my Dad. I will claim whatever trait of him that I can, anytime, anywhere. I’ll shout it from the rooftops! I’ll yodel it from the alps!
I SNORE! I SNORE!! I SNORE!!!