Confessions of a Princess

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snoringOne last (for now) observation of my recent time in the hospital.

“You snore!” a nurse exclaimed one morning. “You and the guy in the room next to you. Sheesh!”

I’d forgotten. After all, I’ve been alone for awhile. It’s not like my dog Teddy would ever say anything.

With the nurse’s declaration, for a split second I was transported back to Girl Scout Camp when I was 11 or 12, the very first time I’d learned that tidbit of information about myself. My family had recently moved to this small town in Southern Utah from Hawaii and I was desperately trying to fit in. It was a tricky transition.

snoring3“Who was snoring?” one of the pretty girls asked after the first night of camp.

“It was RUTH!” several scouts answered in unison.

I was mortified. I said the first thing that came to mind: “Nuh-uh!”

Surely snoring is one of the worst traits for a girl to have, especially at that age when you’re trying to blossom into a young and attractive lady.

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For the next two nights at camp I tried very hard not to fall asleep, doing my best to contort myself in a way that there would be no snoring. I lay on my stomach and tried to tuck my formidable chin onto my shoulder as firmly as I could, keeping my teeth clamped together and wrapping my opposite arm around my head to hold it into position. All to no avail.

“Ruth was snoring again! Ruth snores! Ruth snores!”

Mortification.

When it comes to snoring, I have never met my feminine equal. Throughout my life, all the commercials for snoring solving are geared towards men! Men snore, not women! Even going to Google Images this morning. I typed in “Snoring” and 99% of the images are of course men!

DEA 43

MINE.

It’s only been the past few years that I’ve not only accepted this fact of my femininity, I’ve embraced it.

So, “You snore!” one of the nurses at the hospital exclaimed.

“Why, yes. Yes I do,” I proudly replied. “I am my father’s daughter.”

PROOF. Because, my DAD! He is the King of Snorers! And I am his heir apparent(ly)! The Princess of Snorers, one might say.

I know with every fibre of my being that my father is one of the best men to walk this earth and I am so very lucky that he is my Dad. I will claim whatever trait of him that I can, anytime, anywhere. I’ll shout it from the rooftops! I’ll yodel it from the alps!

I SNORE! I SNORE!! I SNORE!!!

 

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10 Commentsto Confessions of a Princess

  1. Dennis Agle says:

    Yes, I did snore, but I don’t do it as loudly as I used to do. Just don’t ask my wife!

  2. Uncle David says:

    Haha. This is just too funny. I think everybody snores sometime. One could write a song about it to the tune “everybody loves somebody sometime”.

  3. Michele Hermansen says:

    I’m trying to get the tune down, and I can’t. ‘Everybody Snores Somebody Sometime’?

    Oh dad…

    • Ruth says:

      “Everybody snores a little…sometimes…
      Everybody snorts loud in their sleeeeeeep….
      Something in your nose just told meeeee,
      That sometime….is nowwww….”

      Ta-dah!

  4. Alissa says:

    Hey Ruth, I snore too. I found out when I was about 9 and living in that same small southern Utah town. I was going up to visit family in Northern Utah, my mom found a ride for me to Salt Lake with a college boy from our neighborhood. He was cute and popular with the teenage girls and my older sisters were so jealous I was riding up with him, but I was so shy and didn’t talk to him at all and you know it is a 4 to 5 hour trip. I fell asleep and when I woke up he snickered and asked me if I knew that I snore. That did it, I couldn’t even look at him any more.

    • Ruth says:

      No matter how you find out, it is MORTIFYING (I know I’ve already used that word, but it seems the most apt), especially at that tender age – and especially by a boy! Grrr! NOT a gentleman!

      Of course, I think of some of the things I said about boys in high school and I feel badly, like one of them “kissed like a dead fish” when I had to kiss him in a school play…things like that. I feel badly and wish I could go back in time and apologize…

      • Alissa says:

        I am trying to think about the plays you were in and the ones you kissed someone. So I think I know who you are talking about.

        I think we all said something in high school we now wish we could take back – I know I did also. I think that would be the only reason I would want to go back to high school for.

        By the way – I forgot to mention – I inherited my snoring from my dad also! Luckily for me, I did not get his volume.

        • Ruth says:

          It might not be who you think. His name was Gray (I think) and I feel so badly when I think about it – especially now that I have a son of my own who does plays in high school.

          Hopefully some she-devil of a high school student isn’t as cruel to him as I was to that boy back then. Teenage years, such a hard time they are.