April, 2014

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Now, THAT is a BAT Joke!

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You know what’s hard? Finding a funny joke about bats! Or a pun! Or something!

The next chapter coming out tomorrow night has a bat joke in it. And I use the term “joke” lightly, but it’s the thought that counts!

So here as a quickie post as I get back to work. The bat jokes that didn’t make it. The rejects, you might say:

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Why did the bat wear glasses?

Because he had BAT EYES!

(You have to read it out loud to get it, although there isn’t much to get, hence the rejection although this was the place holder for the longest time in the book.  Most people read to themselves in their heads)

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How are bats like false teeth?

They all come out at night!

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Why don’t bats live alone?

They prefer to hang out with their friends!

 

 

WOKKA WOKKA!! Thank you, thank you, I’m here ’til Thursday! Tip your waitress!

You can only imagine the joke that actually made it…

Happy Monday!

P.S. I like the gallery picture I found for today. “Release the Bats!” to which I would reply, “Send in the Clowns!”

Please, do.

 

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BATTER(s) Up and a SPOILER Alert!

It’s begun! A neighbor – well, not actually a neighbor, she lives across town. Then again, with a town this small she’s still a neighbor. Her parents live down the street. They also all lived in this very house at one time! But I digress – has already had two bats this year!

So you can BET I’ll be watching even more closely! And! This oddly makes me feel better, she states that if she sees “ONE …… Even ONE more bat,” she’s putting her house on the market! HAH! Not Just Me, Then!

See? SEE?! SCARY!!

As for the spoilers, these are regarding the latest two chapters, Chapter 32 The Encounter and Chapter 33 Things That Go Thump In the Night. From now to the end of the book I will alert you when I’m posting spoilers. So for those of you who want to wait and read the whole thing at once, read no further!

 

STOP.

 

Okay, for the rest: Both of these chapters are based on a true story that took place in this very house. The broken bottle clues, the pulling back of the curtain, the fainting, the releasing, everything.

Not to mention the constant phrases I’ve heard regarding bats when it comes to them going into places where they do not belong.

Isn’t it funny that Hazel thinks the same way I do when it comes to her first encounter and Dot says the very thing that Hazel’s already heard more than once in her brief time in Iowa?

“It happens all the time! After all, bats can come in through holes the size of – ” 

“Pencil erasers! We know!” said Hazel frantically as the bat zipped in and out and around.

“Don’t worry,” Dot said soothingly. “In all those times, we never got bitten once. Bats are harmless! Why, he’s more scared of us than we are of him.”

Marlene had said the same thing nearly word for word. Hazel felt a strange urge to laugh, wondering if there was some sort of course in Iowa called, “What to Say in Case of Bat.” She had visions of Marlene sitting in the front of the class, her arm raised in response to the teacher’s question. “I know! I know! An eraser!” she would say.

“A pencil eraser,” Dot would clarify, earning praise from the teacher and dirty looks from Marlene.

HT-059 Bat Class NG

This next is from chapter 33:

“I think he fainted,” Betty offered. Everyone looked at her in disbelief.

“He fainted?” said Hazel. She lowered her lamp – and herself – for a closer look. Sure enough, it appeared the bat was breathing, but he was out like a light.

He looked so helpless and small laying there, nothing like the leathery, huge monster that had swarmed her bed. “And he fainted,” Hazel incredulously repeated to herself once more.

“They really are more afraid of us than we are of them,” she said out loud.

HT-060 The Realization NG

I was of course channeling the movie, “Holes,” one of my favorites.HT-060 HolesAnd on that note, I wish you a Very Happy Weekend! You’re my favorite!

 

A Slippery Slope

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAYesterday we got a friendly new arrival at the Hideaway. Out of love and over time, people will do odd things to their little friends. Take this little girl, for instance. At some point over her life, something must have happened to her wig. Perhaps it wore away. After all, mohair can be fragile. Perhaps it was cut beyond repair. One never knows!

In any case, someone’s solution was to take some synthetic wig hair and glue it to this girl’s head. They then made a center part with a bobby pin. I don’t mind! After all, it was done out of love and an effort to make the doll pretty and comfortable and not bald.

However! With this dry Iowa air, her hair (and I’m sorry, I haven’t learnt her name yet) was floating all over the place. I took a rubber band and secured her hair – until a “new” old wig could be found for her – behind her head in a bun.

Something about this new ‘do looked familiar…

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Complete with tangled knot in the back!

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This looks just like the back of my head!

I call it “The Castaway Affect” based on what happened to Tom Hanks’ character in the movie, “Castaway.”

 

        IN THE BEGINNING:                                                                  FIVE YEARS LATER:

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You come to a small town looking one way, but eventually, over time…well. The townsfolk are like family! Plus, if you are a trifle hermit-like and rarely set foot out of doors…Sometimes I will catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror and, “Oh. Oh, dear…”

Now I try and at least put on lipstick when I’m out and about. I occasionally even run a brush through my hair!

If I could only lose weight, as Tom’s character did…I’m working on it! Happy Friday Eve Day!

Zippety Doo Dah!

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAThey said it couldn’t be done! Not anyone in particular, of course. Just those pesky voices in my head. But it’s been done! Carol Jane is finally up for adoption, penny and hankie in her purse and ready to go when the time is right. You can see her HERE.

Also! Her page has been updated as well. If you were to stretch your eyes aaallll the way up to the top right corner of this page, you would see the tab for the O.L.D. Registry. Or, if that’s too much of a stretch you could click right HERE.

From there you can click onto her name for images that aren’t on her listing. OR! This being a Wednesday, and heavens-to-Betsy aren’t we tired, then here’s a link to CAROL JANE’S PAGE.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAI should have called this post Linky Links! Because here’s another! Last night at midnight Chapter 33 Things That Go Thump In The Night made it’s debut. There’s a tab for that above as well, of course…

So much going on! Now it’s back to putting the finishing touches on doll No. 2, Emily grace. She’s coming along quite nicely.

This Over Here Is Her BEFORE->

Her after will be coming soon!

The Chilly Hill

I’m starting to think there’s something to what my mother would say to me growing up, as I plodded through tasks with lightning speed: “You’re moving slower than molasses going uphill. In winter!”

By golly, I think she was right!

Yesterday it took me all the live long dogged day to get photos of Carol Jane.

Dot and Betty – especially Dot, of course – were distracting her from beyond the camera. It didn’t help that it was cloudy outside, and that I am a barely passable photographer as is. Still, I did my best. I was determined to get Carol Jane up for adoption! Then I decided to try some fancy software. And thus another day passes…

Here’s her new main photo:                                                         And her before!

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Dot settled down, once I promised her that I would include her in one of the pictures. I can’t get too mad at Dot. Not after her brave actions in Chapter 33 Things That Go Thump In The Night premiering tonight! At midnight!

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I am absolutely positive that tomorrow’s post will be about Carol Jane’s adoption site, and that site will be active today! Mind you, once I get this figured out, it WILL be figured out. Which will bode well for the future adoptees, thank goodness.

Just Say It!

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAThere is always more to do than you think. Carol Jane! Her right hand was saying, “I love you.” Perhaps that is why her two center fingers were missing! Either way, she’s had her hand repaired and is now ready to go.

Here’s a close up of her hand:

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Fingers molded, dried and ready to paint:

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Painted!

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She’s also had her lips touched up, and I’ve taken a trial photograph of her with Dot and Betty as she prepares to enter the Portal for the very first time. I need to work with my lighting and I’m going to try a different camera, but here she is.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERADot didn’t actually sew the clothes, she’s just pretending!

But, you! Have a great weekend for real!

A Few Debuts

Now, see? That title actually rhymes, but you wouldn’t know it just looking at it. I’m constantly struck by how odd the English language is, and I have to tell myself over and over after looking at a single word for awhile as I ponder and wonder that it IS spelled right and that it WON’T look funny to most just looking at it.

There are also the undefined barriers of language and culture with Nina and I. For example, if I send her a sketch entitled “Pioneer Girl,” will she know what a pioneer even is? I wouldn’t if I were her! So when I sent this:

HT-053 Pioneer NGI also sent this:

HT-053 Pioneers

 

 

 

And this:HT-053 The Pioneers

…and a little history.

 

 

Nina nailed it!

A mothball scented, lumpy cupcake-bearing Pioneer Girl. She may just as well tape a note that said “Kick Me” permanently onto her back.

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HT-054 FIRE NG

 

 

Here’s another:

To Hazel’s surprise, Ruth wasn’t screaming at them all to run out of the house to escape being burned alive. Instead, she sounded rather calm.

 

 

Nina’s sketch:

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HT-055 Needle in a Haystack NGThe next!

 

“So what happened to you, Pinky? Where you kidnapped?” Dot asked, her eyes wide.

Pinky smiled, her face a little pale. “No, I wasn’t kidnapped. A barn cat was chasing after a mouse and he knocked me out of the loft. I fell into a pile of hay below and rolled down into a corner.”

 

Nina’s sketch:

Sk_HT_55

HT-056 The Swipe NG

And lastly:

“A little goes a long way,” Ruth said.

Hazel nearly “Hmpf’d!” out loud. She had watched closely! She knew what she was doing! She’d made that fire, after all…

“Oh, no!” Hazel gasped.

Pinky raised her remaining eyebrow in alarm. “What’s wrong?”

Nina’s new sketch:

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Bless Nina’s gifted hands! And bless mine too, gifted or no. Because I feel so much better today. I was “off my meds,” so to speak, and now I’m BACK, baby! And ready To GO.

Bless YOU most of all!

From A Distance

Frequently throughout life I am reminded of a scene from Monty Python and the Holy Grail, where castle guards who are minding the gates for a wedding party see a knight running to them from a far distance.

They look:                                                      The knight is far away:

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One of them is even eating an orange:                Because the knight is far away. Plenty of time!

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And then, suddenly:

So often, life is like that! You can see something coming towards you from a great distance and yet seem completely unable to do anything about it and you’re somehow surprised when it actually arrives!

And that is my post for today! Hope you can relate.

The ENCOUNTER

Tomorrow I will (I hope!) post photos and a link to the FIRST Once-Loved Doll up for adoption.

But tonight! At midnight! Chapter 32 The Encounter. Who’s it between?

Maxwell and Marlene?

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Marlene and Hazel?

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Ruth and Hazel?

HT_42Some yet unknown character…? Time will tell! In the meantime, I’m going to try and hone my photography skills. Gulp.

My, you look lovely today! Nothing April fooley about THAT!